I can’t believe drawing a black line across my eyelids makes me feel 10x prettier.
Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life
i feel like 80% of the things i think are hilarious and bring me to the brink of a stomachache from laughing so hard wouldn’t be as amusing to me if i got proper amounts of sleep regularly
"our friendship is too valuable"
fuck you mean just touch my butt